Monday, September 3, 2007

Price for freedom

If you ever predicted that this blog would be short-lived, you were probably right. Things started to really happen around me right after I posted the first blog. I mean it was a pure coincidence of course. No one who called me about giving me a job ever read this blog. Nonetheless it was very interesting how life seems to turn on a dime (or a blog).

Following several interviews/meetings over coffee my stress level quadrupled. Big $ signs were staring at me, so was the prospect of going back to a hectic schedule immediately. How nice it would be to be able to replace our living room floor without dipping into our savings....And money would suddenly be a non-issue when it come to Andrei's piano ordeal - heck I can just hire tutors to oversee his practice sessions instead of enduring the torture myself. Yeah it is true that I don't have a lot of material needs but it surely would be nice to have so much more $$ to spend or save at will.

So why was I so stressed out when people were offering to pay me to start the next day? Is it possible that I actually relish my freedom, very much? What is the price that I would be willing to accept to give up my freedom, the precious time with kids, the evening classes at Berkeley? Strangely enough, i can't even put a price tag on it.

I realize that if I ever am to go back to work, it would have to be something I really love to do. Alternatively, if the price is right and my husband can stay home with kids and work on his startup, I would love to give him the chance to enjoy the blessed freedom that he so generously provided me for over a year. After all, the most fitting price for my freedom would be the freedom of my loved ones.

Yours truly,
ps. Job search will resume this coming Thursday.

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